Champions League draw

The quarter final draw is as follows:

Villarreal v Arsenal

Manchester United v Porto

Liverpool v Chelsea

Barcelona v Bayern Munich

Arsenal Manager Arsene Wenger told arsenal.com today "I am delighted with the draw. But even more delighted when I corner Pires and grab his cock to remind him of the good times"

Alex Ferguson was less than pleased on alexferguson.co.uk "I can't fucking believe we got Porto. We're Man United. We shouldnt even have to play these shitty asswipe fucking games. The world player of the year plays for us."

Guus Hiddink told Sky Sports "I am pleased to have got Liverpool. Mainly becuase Lamps has a small crush on Stevie G. and I feel this will improve his game"

Barcelona coach Pep Guardiola told Marca "I'm not going to that shithole, Munich. They can play both legs here. Platini shouldnt have a problem with that considering I once sucked him off in 1990"