Rory Delap wants throw-in bonus

Stoke midfielder and throw-in specialist Rory Delap has told his club he demands a £20,000 bonus per throw in, per match.

"I can throw the ball up to four miles. I could throw the ball in our ground and score in Wembley. Twenty grand is the minimim I want."

Stoke City were unavailable for comment.

Paul McCartney creates football club.

Former Beatle legend Sir Paul McCartney has invested £500 million in creating a new football club based in Warrington.

Warrington Rovers F.C. went into business this morning. McCartney has allegedly spent another £150 million on bribes to ensure they will begin their first season in the Premier League in the 2009/2010 season.

A further £290 million has been spent on a 60,000 seater stadium, construction of which starts immediately.

It was announced on their website, http://www.warringtonroversfc.co.uk/ that Frank Rijkaard has been confirmed as their new manager.

McCartney said today "The idea only came to me last week. I decided to create my own club. Warrington isn't too far from Liverpool, where i'm from, so I thought that would be an ideal location."

"I am delighted Frank has agreed a twelve year contract as coach. He has seen me about potential players he would like me to purchase for the squad" the 65 year old said.

Potential rumoured players include Real Madrid's Arjen Robben, Chelsea's Joe Cole and Juliano Belletti, Barcelona's Bojan Krkic and Victor Valdes, Celtic's Aiden McGeady, Liverpool's Xabi Alonso and Robbie Keane and AC Milan's Andrea Pirlo, Alexandre Pato and Giuanluca Zambrotta.

Stephen Ireland CAN grow hair

Irish born Man City star Stephen Ireland issued a statement today via City's website that he can grow hair.

The statement read:

"I would just like to thank Man City for this opportunity to clear a few things up. I have never had any hair trouble. I never had a receding hairline. I can grow a full head of hair and never wore a wig.

Having a completely bald shaved head is quite fashionable with Irish people living in England these days.

I would also like to point out that my international situation is not becuase of the time Stephen Hunt, Kevin Doyle, Richard Dunne and Giovanni Trapattoni all held me down and tried to pull my wig off."

Jay Jay Okocha. So good they named him six times.

Former Nigeria and Bolton star Jay Jay Okocha was subjest to the famous line "so good they named him twice" on Sky Sports' Soccer AM.

This week the 35-year old retired star was honoured by the Nigerian government who on his behalf have not only taken the Soccer AM tagline seriously, they tripled it. His new name will be legally Jay Jay Jay Jay Jay Jay Okocha .

Okocha is less than pleased "this is fucking cockspunk" said the former Hull City and PSG striker "i used to get bullied because of the double name thing. Now six names? Holy fucking smoke! I wish I was Brazilian. One name. Ronaldo...Robinho...Kaka...Geovanni...Ronaldinho...Alex. Know what I'm saying? I used to get bullied so much. Once, a certian player used to masturbate me against my own will before matches when I played for Fenerbahçe and then demand money. But then again, this was outside the dressing room."

Kaka' bought by Robinho

Manchester City ace Robinho has bought fellow countryman Kaka' from AC Milan for €52 million. He has loaned Kaka' back to Milan for one year as they will be paying his €110,000 weekly wages.

City boss Mark Hughes told Daily Sport yesterday "This is unbelievable. What a phenomenal gesture from Robinho."

Robinho snapped back this morning however saying "Who said I am going to give Kaka to Manchester City for? I'm looking for a cleaner in my apartment."

Robinho's Man City demands surface

Manchester City ace Robinho has told Football News 365 of his list of demands for each home game at the City of Manchester Stadium. These are:

*A seperate dressing room decorated with flowers and framed pictures of Brazilian footballers throughout the years.

*A black limo to travel to the stadium with full armed police escort.

*A 160GB iPod filled with different music every week to be supplied.

*"Exotic dancers" for half time.

*A helicopter to transport him from away stadiums to his Manchester penthouse.

*A swimming pool with

*A photo of Alfonso Alves

Lionel Messi exclusive interview with Football News 365

Here is an excerpt from an exclusive interview we got with Barcelona ace Lionel Messi.

FN365
What do you feel was the defining moment in your career?

MESSI
Probably when i seen Ronaldinho get my shirt in the dressing room in the Camp Nou. He hung it on the wall for all the other players to see and said "this boy is special". And the whole dressing applauded. Everyone except Oleguer.

FN365
Oleguer? Why did he not applaud?

MESSI
I slept with his mother. He walked in on us once.

The full interview will be out next week.

Joe Kinnear "not a racist"

Newcastle United interim Manager Joe Kinnear has blasted claims that he is a racist.

According to reports, the 61 year old Dublin born manager, was alleged to make all black players on the senior team wear an armbands with the letters WP on it, alleged to stand for "white power".

"Thats a load of fucking bollocks" said Kinnear, "it stood for wing-player. I was merely trying out some cunts to play on the wing, some of them just happened to be black fellas. I'm not a racist, and even if i was, i wouldn't be. Cause I am not. Now cunt off!"