Celtic and Rangers "allowed" to join South African premier league

Despite the common pub-talk of "should Celtic and Rangers play in the Premiership", the South African FA have said they would let both teams join the ABSA Premier League, the top tier of South African football.

Both clubs said they would love to play in any league except the SPL and this is the first offer both clubs have had.

The South African FA said both clubs would have to relocate in the same city in South Africa, for the derby element with Cape Town being the likely contender. Both clubs' stadia are set to be demolished and rebuilt in their new city using the same bricks.

Head of Celtic Bhoys Supporters Group Alan McNeill is furious telling us "I cannae fucking believe it like. How am I supposed to get ma arse down to fuckin' South Africa to see the hoops?"
Rangers Loyal Supporters Club founder Billy French is pleased, "Aye...it's nae too fuckin bad. Beers are cheaper in South Africa like. I'm gonnae buy ma flat in Cape Town so I cannae wait for the season to begin".